If ever there were ever an appropriate time to quote Mickey Avalon lyrics, it would be now.
After eating French fries and a fried egg doused in oil for dinner last night, let’s just say I was pretty pumped when my señora insisted that we join her for pilates today. And what an adventure it was…
We met her after class at an all-women’s gym, which was literally called “Gimnasio para Mujeres,” and when we walked inside, it was as if we’d stumbled into some sort of time warp and traveled back to the ‘90s. The walls were plastered with photos of nearly naked women with big, frizzy ‘90s hairstyles, posing on various exercise machines. Picture old-school “American Gladiator”, but with thongs and visible nipples. One absolutely ripped, absolutely naked, woman was doing curls. Which, you know, is just what I want to stare at when I’m running on the treadmill. Another be-thonged girl was sprawled across the elliptical machine in feigned fatigue, with a slogan reading “Stay a Step Ahead!” I may not have been motivated, but I was certainly amused.
We made our way over to the studio area, where the décor shifted from soft-core porn for workout addicts to the less fetish-specific stuff: half-naked men standing under a waterfall, half-naked men pushing a truck to some unknown location, half-naked men staring intently at a half-naked woman checking herself out in a mirror post-workout. For the more prudish, there was one motivational poster without any skin: one of those classic, black-bordered posters with a picture of the ocean and an inspirational quote.
As if the questionable interior design wasn’t enough, pilates itself was a bit of a trip. Not only have I never done pilates, but I also didn’t know any pilates language in Spanish. So not only did I look like a complete retard trying to fake it and look at other people for guidance, but I also looked like an even bigger idiot in front of all these little old ladies who knew exactly what they were doing. Yep, at last 90% of the attendees were over 70. Let’s just say I didn’t get much of a workout, but I did learn how to say, “Clench the ball with your knees and breathe out” in Spanish. I did regain some of my lost self-esteem this afternoon when we met some friends for our first experience with Spanish film and I was actually able to understand almost everything that the characters said. I guess looking like an idiot is the best way to learn, anyway, and I’ll probably be doing a lot of it as I continue to fumble with—and drastically improve—my Spanish.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
it's a small world after all
I’m currently sitting in my señora’s kitchen plugged into the ghetto Internet router, cradling a roll of toilet paper for my runny nose (yep, sick in my first week and unable/too lazy to find Kleenex) and contemplating a siesta before we go out to celebrate our first week in Spain tonight at Pacha, another club. Yep, I'm in Spain for the next three months, studying, living with an older single woman, and attempting to improve my Spanish to near fluency. I made it through my first week of classes relatively unscathed, except for contracting this mystery illness, although I can tell that what appears to be only a small amount of homework is going to take much longer than expected since it’s all in Spanish. None of my classes are particularly challenging content-wise, but focusing on understanding and speaking Spanish for an hour and a half can get very tiring. Plus, it’s hard to relax when I get home because our señora obviously wants to hear about our day and chat with us about travel plans, food, the girls who stayed with her last year (fellow sorority members), etc—in Spanish. I’m generally okay with it, but my roommate has a hard time when she’s tired and hungry. I think I’m glad we live together so that whenever we get mentally exhausted, we can just lapse into English.
Overall, this week has been a blur, and I feel like I’m living in a bubble of sunshine and fiestas while life continues as usual, or worse than usual, at home. With the economic crisis dominating the headlines, growing tension between Pakistan and US forces in Afghanistan, and the continuing (never-ending…) election season and all the drama surrounding it, I’ve been trying to stay aware and in touch with what’s going on outside Madrid. That’s why it was refreshing when my professor for “Spain and the European Union” started off our first class Tuesday by discussing what’s happening on Wall Street and reminding us that all eyes around the world are focused on our upcoming election (as well as making some Sarah Palin jokes, of course). As he put it, who becomes the next president of the United States matters just as much to Europeans as it does to us, except that they can’t vote. He also took time to compare our electoral process to the elections in European countries. Theirs tend to last only a few months, while ours has turned into an 18-month marathon of mud slinging and pandering. As he put it, whenever a country is going in the wrong direction, European voters automatically vote for a party elsewhere on the political spectrum, though whether that is good or bad is certainly up for subjective judgment. He also asked us why Americans have an aversion to voting for “elitist,” educated politicians, telling us that he’d love to have a beer with his neighbor but would never trust him to run the country. Clearly none of us could answer that question since we are all “elitist” according to the currently popular definition.
Later that night, as we were relaxing at a bar, a group of French guys insisted on asking us all whether we were voting for Obama and giving enthusiastic high-fives to those who answered in the affirmative. While those guys were kind of annoying, and most of us are tired of thinking about politics and are relieved to be outside of the United States during the final two months before the election, encounters like that make me realize that European and American interests are inextricably linked, whether we like it or not. I was initially excited to study abroad here mostly just to practice my Spanish, and I was actually a little disappointed that I hadn’t put myself on track to visit the Middle East, my main region of interest. But now I’m hoping that studying abroad here will help me learn more about the ways in which European powers rely on the United States, and in what ways we, too, depend on Europe to maintain our own strength. I’m interested to learning more about the power of diplomacy that holds the European Union together and perhaps even getting a sense of whether the average person’s attitude toward war and aggression are different than the prevailing views in America. Plus, it’s always interesting to hear an outsider’s perspective, and based on what my professor told us, I have a feeling that I’ll be hearing plenty of those as soon as the election results are in.
Overall, this week has been a blur, and I feel like I’m living in a bubble of sunshine and fiestas while life continues as usual, or worse than usual, at home. With the economic crisis dominating the headlines, growing tension between Pakistan and US forces in Afghanistan, and the continuing (never-ending…) election season and all the drama surrounding it, I’ve been trying to stay aware and in touch with what’s going on outside Madrid. That’s why it was refreshing when my professor for “Spain and the European Union” started off our first class Tuesday by discussing what’s happening on Wall Street and reminding us that all eyes around the world are focused on our upcoming election (as well as making some Sarah Palin jokes, of course). As he put it, who becomes the next president of the United States matters just as much to Europeans as it does to us, except that they can’t vote. He also took time to compare our electoral process to the elections in European countries. Theirs tend to last only a few months, while ours has turned into an 18-month marathon of mud slinging and pandering. As he put it, whenever a country is going in the wrong direction, European voters automatically vote for a party elsewhere on the political spectrum, though whether that is good or bad is certainly up for subjective judgment. He also asked us why Americans have an aversion to voting for “elitist,” educated politicians, telling us that he’d love to have a beer with his neighbor but would never trust him to run the country. Clearly none of us could answer that question since we are all “elitist” according to the currently popular definition.
Later that night, as we were relaxing at a bar, a group of French guys insisted on asking us all whether we were voting for Obama and giving enthusiastic high-fives to those who answered in the affirmative. While those guys were kind of annoying, and most of us are tired of thinking about politics and are relieved to be outside of the United States during the final two months before the election, encounters like that make me realize that European and American interests are inextricably linked, whether we like it or not. I was initially excited to study abroad here mostly just to practice my Spanish, and I was actually a little disappointed that I hadn’t put myself on track to visit the Middle East, my main region of interest. But now I’m hoping that studying abroad here will help me learn more about the ways in which European powers rely on the United States, and in what ways we, too, depend on Europe to maintain our own strength. I’m interested to learning more about the power of diplomacy that holds the European Union together and perhaps even getting a sense of whether the average person’s attitude toward war and aggression are different than the prevailing views in America. Plus, it’s always interesting to hear an outsider’s perspective, and based on what my professor told us, I have a feeling that I’ll be hearing plenty of those as soon as the election results are in.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
somewhere karl rove and dick cheney are celebrating
Ugh, this upcoming election has gotten even more frustrating and annoying than it was during that endless primary season. It's making me really glad that I'll be leaving the country tomorrow to study in Spain for the next three months. Besides the fact that Sarah Palin's voice is about the most grating, irritating sound in the entire world, she keeps repeating the same stump speech full of false assertions and dodging the issues entirely. Meanwhile, an old and bumbling John McCain keeps thumbs-upping (remind you of anyone?), riding the Palin wave, and flying under the radar (maybe he should have tried that tactic to avoid getting CAPTURED in Vietnam... ok that was bad of me, but come on, the man crashed like four airplanes. And none of that is relevant to his ability to govern). And now they've even hijacked Obama's change mantra, which simply does not apply to either McCain or Palin as the media has continued to reveal and the masses have continued to ignore. As his own campaign aide said, this election isn't about the issues; it's about personality.
You would think the American people would be smart enough to see through this facade. All the facts are staring Americans in the face: the scandals and ties to lobbyists, the voting records, the failed tax policies that promise relief to the very wealthiest and none to the middle and lower classes, the guarantee of continued Bush-Cheney policies on everything from the Iraq War to the economy, the skillful avoidance of discussing the actual issues. How can the Democrats even run an intelligent campaign when the opponent fails to engage? It's like trying to have a debate with someone who responds to every jab by sticking out his (or, more likely in this case, her) tongue and making googly eyes. Unfortunately, the vast majority of Americans lack the interest and attention spans for politics and fail to truly consider the issues beyond the political charades. Personally, I blame this at least partially on the ridiculously long electoral process that leaves everyone mentally exhausted and tired of politics long before the election takes places. If I'm completely tired of hearing about Obama and McCain, there can't be much hope that the majority of Americans haven't hit the proverbial mute button. Unfortunately, Rove-ian politics work wonders in a situation like that, and the McCain campaign is banking on the fact that most Americans don't care enough to really think about this historical decision. They're banking on ignorance, stupidity, and carelessness to get people to vote against their own interests. By focusing on babies, God, and hockey moms, the McCain campaign has effectively diverted attention away from the real issues. And that seems to work.
If McCain wins this election, Americans deserve for our country to continue the downward spiral of the last eight years. Unfortunately, the enlightened among us will be along for the horrible ride.
You would think the American people would be smart enough to see through this facade. All the facts are staring Americans in the face: the scandals and ties to lobbyists, the voting records, the failed tax policies that promise relief to the very wealthiest and none to the middle and lower classes, the guarantee of continued Bush-Cheney policies on everything from the Iraq War to the economy, the skillful avoidance of discussing the actual issues. How can the Democrats even run an intelligent campaign when the opponent fails to engage? It's like trying to have a debate with someone who responds to every jab by sticking out his (or, more likely in this case, her) tongue and making googly eyes. Unfortunately, the vast majority of Americans lack the interest and attention spans for politics and fail to truly consider the issues beyond the political charades. Personally, I blame this at least partially on the ridiculously long electoral process that leaves everyone mentally exhausted and tired of politics long before the election takes places. If I'm completely tired of hearing about Obama and McCain, there can't be much hope that the majority of Americans haven't hit the proverbial mute button. Unfortunately, Rove-ian politics work wonders in a situation like that, and the McCain campaign is banking on the fact that most Americans don't care enough to really think about this historical decision. They're banking on ignorance, stupidity, and carelessness to get people to vote against their own interests. By focusing on babies, God, and hockey moms, the McCain campaign has effectively diverted attention away from the real issues. And that seems to work.
If McCain wins this election, Americans deserve for our country to continue the downward spiral of the last eight years. Unfortunately, the enlightened among us will be along for the horrible ride.
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